You may want to read carefully, and keep handy for a quick review in tense situations with your loved one.

1.) “Fine”: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. A shrewd but effective psychological tactic.

2.) “Five Minutes”: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. It may be that women are able to fold the space time continuum to achieve this.

3.) “Nothing”: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes for at least the next 72hrs, if not longer. Arguments that begin with “nothing” usually end in “fine”.

4.) “Go Ahead”: According to all experts on the topic this is considered a dare, and not permission. Don’t Do It!

5.) A Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and further discussion is pointless because she is right in this discussion about nothing important. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of “nothing”.)

6.) “That’s Okay”: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. A 72hr waiting period doesn’t apply, this goes on your permanent record.

7.) “Thanks”: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you’re welcome and back away slowly.

8.) “Whatever”: Is a woman’s way of saying “bite me”.

9.) “Don’t worry about it, I got it”: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking “What’s wrong?” For the woman’s response refer to #3. Pray that you don’t receive a “that’s ok”.

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~author unknown and modified heavily by aguywalkedintoabar.com editorial.