aguywalkedintoabar.com » Engineering http://aguywalkedintoabar.com funny stories, humor and jokes Tue, 26 May 2009 06:10:54 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 en hourly 1 Mistress vs Wife http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/mistress-vs-wife/ http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/mistress-vs-wife/#comments Tue, 21 Oct 2008 06:46:19 +0000 dave http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/?p=245 An architect, an artist, and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.

The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.

The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there.

The engineer said, “I like both.”

The other two replied, “Both?”

“Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each…

]]> http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/mistress-vs-wife/feed/ 0 What Engineers Are Like In Bed http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/what-engineers-are-like-in-bed/ http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/what-engineers-are-like-in-bed/#comments Fri, 03 Oct 2008 16:38:01 +0000 dave http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/?p=239 A guide for ladies shopping for a Engineering lover. So just how do engineers do it?

Engineers do it with precision.

Electrical engineers are shocked when they do it.

Electrical engineers do it on an impulse.

Electrical engineers do it with large capacities.

Electrical engineers do it with more frequency and less resistance.

Electrical engineers do it with more power and at higher frequency.

Mechanical engineers do it with stress and strain.

Mechanical engineers do it with less energy and greater efficiency.

Chemical Engineers…

]]> http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/what-engineers-are-like-in-bed/feed/ 0 A fire, an Engineer, a Physicist and a Mathmatician http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/a-fire-an-engineer-a-physicist-and-a-mathmatician/ http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/a-fire-an-engineer-a-physicist-and-a-mathmatician/#comments Tue, 05 Aug 2008 17:34:54 +0000 dave http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/?p=222 An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician are staying in a hotel while attending a technical seminar. The engineer wakes up and smells smoke. He goes out into the hallway and sees a fire, so he fills a trash can from his room with water and douses the fire. He goes back to bed.

Later, the physicist wakes up and smells smoke. He opens his door and sees a fire in the hallway. He walks…

]]> http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/a-fire-an-engineer-a-physicist-and-a-mathmatician/feed/ 0 Engineering Humor – short jokes #1 http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/engineering-humor-short-jokes-1/ http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/engineering-humor-short-jokes-1/#comments Tue, 05 Aug 2008 17:27:07 +0000 dave http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/?p=221 Rather than force you all to look at many pages for very short jokes, here’s a collection of humorous shorts that made us smile.

Phases of a Project
1 — Exultation
2 — Disenchantment
3 — Search for the Guilty
4 — Punishment of the Innocent
5 — Praise for the Uninvolved

Mechanical vs Civil Engineers

Q: What’s the difference between a mechanical engineer and a civil engineer?
A: One builds bombs, the other builds targets.

Astronaut Anxiety

An astronaut in space in 1970…

]]> http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/engineering-humor-short-jokes-1/feed/ 0 Why Men Don’t Write Advice Columns http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/why-men-dont-write-advice-columns/ http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/why-men-dont-write-advice-columns/#comments Wed, 19 Dec 2007 22:11:08 +0000 dave http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/why-men-dont-write-advice-columns/ Dear Joe:

I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn’t gone more than a mile down the road when my engine died and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband’s help. When I got home I couldn’t believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with a neighbor lady…

]]> http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/why-men-dont-write-advice-columns/feed/ 0 New Intel Organic Chip http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/new-intel-organic-chip/ http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/new-intel-organic-chip/#comments Sat, 02 Jun 2007 21:07:11 +0000 dave http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/new-intel-organic-chip/ INTRODUCING the greatest and most powerful new chip out of INTEL’s(TM) Microprocessor Labs: The Potato(TM) Chip.

Finally, with much fanfare, the newest upgrade to the best selling Pentium(TM) processor is released. The Potato(TM) Chip uses the latest in biochemical and electronic engineering. This newly developed organic microprocessor outshines the previous generation.

The Potato(TM) Chip has 100% more speed, 100% more memory, 1/10th the heat generation and 100000% more starch than the traditional 200Mhz PentiumPro(TM) Chip.

The new Potato(TM)…

]]> http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/new-intel-organic-chip/feed/ 0 Programmer’s Prayer http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/programmers-prayer/ http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/programmers-prayer/#comments Thu, 08 Mar 2007 20:55:35 +0000 dave http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/programmers-prayer/ Our program,
Who art in memory,
“Hello” be thy name.
Thy spreadsheets be formatted,
thy code be downloaded,
from disk,
as it will be in memory.
Give us on screen
our data spreads,
and forgive us our typos,
as we forgive those who ask that we document.
Lead us not into frustration,
but deliver us from glitches.
For thine is the algorithm,
the application,
and the solution,
looping forever and ever.

Return.

~author unknown

…]]> http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/programmers-prayer/feed/ 0 a priest, a doctor, and an engineer playing golf http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/a-priest-a-doctor-and-an-engineer-playing-golf/ http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/a-priest-a-doctor-and-an-engineer-playing-golf/#comments Wed, 21 Feb 2007 12:13:01 +0000 dave http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/a-priest-a-doctor-and-an-engineer-playing-golf/ A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, “What’s with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!”

The doctor chimed in, “I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such ineptitude!” The priest said, “Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let’s have a word with him.” “Hi Stan! say, what’s with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t…

]]> http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/a-priest-a-doctor-and-an-engineer-playing-golf/feed/ 0 an architect, an artist and an engineer http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/an-architect-an-artist-and-an-engineer/ http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/an-architect-an-artist-and-an-engineer/#comments Tue, 20 Feb 2007 19:12:18 +0000 dave http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/an-architect-an-artist-and-an-engineer/ An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.

The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there.

The engineer said, “I like both.” “Both?” “Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will…

]]> http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/an-architect-an-artist-and-an-engineer/feed/ 0 The engineer and the frog http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/the-engineer-and-the-frog/ http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/the-engineer-and-the-frog/#comments Mon, 19 Feb 2007 21:49:11 +0000 dave http://aguywalkedintoabar.com/the-engineer-and-the-frog/ An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one year.” The engineer took the frog out of his pocket,…

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