aguywalkedintoabar.com » Law & Lawyers

A Strange Lawyer

dave — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 14:03:11 +0000

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, “Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer.”

The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, since people passing by would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone.

However he suggested an alternative. He would inscribe, “Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer.”

“That way, whenever anyone walked by the…

I’ve Known These Lawyers Since They Were Boys

dave — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 16:26:26 +0000

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand, a grandmotherly looking lady. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Johnson, do you know me?”

She responded, “Yes, I do know you Mr. Atkins. I’ve known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. And now you think you’re…

A Lawyer, a Blond and a Bet on a Plane

dave — Mon, 03 Sep 2007 10:02:19 +0000

A lawyer and a blond woman are sitting next to each other on a long flight from L.A. to New York. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blond is tired and just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains how the game works, “I ask…

Parrot, Parrot and Parrot

dave — Thu, 31 May 2007 11:28:18 +0000

A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical-looking parrots on a perch and says, “The parrot on the left costs $500.”

“Why does the parrot cost so much?” asks the customer. The owner says “Well, the parrot knows how to do legal research.”

The customer then asks about the next parrot, to be told that this one costs $1,000 because it can do everything the other…

a doctor, an engineer, a lawyer and a guillotine

dave — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 16:19:27 +0000

A doctor, a lawyer,and an engineer are sentenced to death. Why is not important to the story…what’s important is that the death sentence will be carried out in France – via guillotine.

The doctor is first. The executioner straps him down, hoists the glittering blade aloft, and lets it drop…whereupon it sticks about halfway down.

Now, it’s a well-known tradition in capital punishment that if the execution apparatus fails for any reason, this is interpreted as a…