aguywalkedintoabar.com » Married Life

Poker Player’s Last Hand

dave — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 23:25:26 +0000

Some die hard poker playing friends, with regular Friday night poker game, were still going strong well after midnight when one of the players returned from bathroom with an urgent message. “Steve, listen,” he told the host, “Ron is in the kitchen making love to your wife!” “OK, that’s it, guys,” Steve said. “This time I mean it, this is positively the last deal!”

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~author unknown modified by AGuy

Better money in Vegas

dave — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 17:37:12 +0000

After a long day at work, a man comes home to find his wife in a rush to pack her bags. “Where are you going?” demands the surprised husband. “To Las Vegas! I found out that there are men there willing to pay me $500 to do what I do for you for free!”

The man just stood there without reacting, and thought about it for a while. He then quickly began packing his bags as…

Money to the Grave

dave — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 01:07:48 +0000

Once there was a man who worked his entire life and saved all of his money. He was a real scrooge when it came to his assets. He loved money more than just about anything, so much so that just before he died, he ordered his wife, “Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the…

A Naked Surprise

dave — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 17:19:35 +0000

There once was a woman who plays poker once a month with a group of friends who was concerned that she always woke her husband when she came home around 1:00 am. One night she decided to try not to wake him. She undressed in the living room and, put her purse over her shoulder, and tiptoed nude into the bedroom, but was surprised to find her husband sitting up in bed reading. “Dammit woman!”…

9 Very Important Words Women Use

dave — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 19:22:53 +0000

You may want to read carefully, and keep handy for a quick review in tense situations with your loved one.

1.) “Fine”: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. A shrewd but effective psychological tactic.

2.) “Five Minutes”: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes…

Three wives in Las Vegas

dave — Tue, 27 May 2008 18:31:16 +0000

Three buddies decided to take their wives on vacation for a week in Las Vegas. The week flew by and they all had a great time. After they returned home and the men went back to work, and caught up on everything they ignored while away. A week later they had breakfast together and talked about their time in Vegas.

The first guy says “I don’t think I’ll ever do that again! Ever since we got…

Betting on Mary Lou

dave — Sat, 17 May 2008 07:41:24 +0000

A man was quietly reading his paper in the family room when his wife sneaks up behind him and whacks him on the head with a frying pan.

“What was that for?” he says. “That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name ‘Mary Lou’ written on it”, she replies.

“Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Mary Lou was the name of one of the horses I bet on”,…

To Be 6 Again

jshare — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 11:50:40 +0000

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she’d like to have for her birthday.

‘I’d like to be six again’, she replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What…

Widow’s Email

jshare — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 12:00:27 +0000

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter.

They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel.

There was a computer in his room, so he…

A lesson in genealogy

jshare — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 07:12:15 +0000

A little girl asked her mother, ‘How did the human race appear?’

The mother answered, ‘God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was all mankind made.’

Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.

The father answered, ‘Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.’

The confused girl returned to her mother and said, ‘Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created…