Position Available Immediately: Apprentice Sith Lord, Dark Side Consulting Group.
Location: In A Galaxy Far, Far Away

An unexpected position has opened up in the Dark Side Consulting Group for an Apprentice Sith Lord. The ideal candidate for this position would be available for frequent galactic travel and possess a strong understanding of, Read more »

What expect you from someone 900 years old? English perfect???

Size matters not… hey, what are you laughing at?

900 years for Viagra I wait.

I cannot teach him. IQ of 30 has he. Hangs upside down in ice caves. Read more »

10. “You don’t need to see my goddamn identification, cause these ain’t the motherfuckin’ droids you’re looking for.”

9. “Womp rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I’ll never know, cause I’d never touch the filthy motherfucker.”

8. “This is your father’s lightsaber. When you absolutely, positively, have to kill every motherfuckin’ stormtrooper in the room … accept no substitutes.” Read more »

10. Claims those long-distance calls to the Death Star aren’t his.
9. Uses Jedi powers to shake up your Corona right before you open it.
8. He’s always accusing you of hiding his asthma inhaler.
7. Claims he paid you the rent “a long, long time ago.” Read more »

20. You’ve heard the phrase, “May the force be with y’all.”
19. Your father has said to you, “Shoot, son come on over to the dark side… it’ll be a hoot.”
18. Your Jedi robe is camouflage.
17. You have used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light. Read more »