aguywalkedintoabar.com » Women vs Men

Poker on Her

dave — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 14:11:29 +0000

Two couples were playing poker. John accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Bill’s wife wasn’t wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, John hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.

Later, John went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bill’s wife followed him and asked, “Did you see anything that you liked under there?” John admitted that, well, yes,…

Mistress vs Wife

dave — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 06:46:19 +0000

An architect, an artist, and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.

The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.

The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there.

The engineer said, “I like both.”

The other two replied, “Both?”

“Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each…

Playing Poker with the Rent Money

dave — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 14:28:26 +0000

“That dirtball husband of mine wanted me to sleep with the landlord because he lost the rent money playing poker,” the housewife told a neighbor friend.

“You didn’t do it, did you?!”

“I have to admit that I did, though with certain misgivings, I might add. But what I haven’t done, is tell him the rent is paid up for six months!”

~ author unknown

Skin Transplant with Love

dave — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 22:47:09 +0000

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks.

The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no…

9 Very Important Words Women Use

dave — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 19:22:53 +0000

You may want to read carefully, and keep handy for a quick review in tense situations with your loved one.

1.) “Fine”: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. A shrewd but effective psychological tactic.

2.) “Five Minutes”: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes…

The Male and Female ATM User Guide

dave — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 20:39:05 +0000

A bank recently expanded by building a drive through ATM. To best serve it’s customers using this new facility, they spent many months of careful research, until they developed different procedures for men and women. To notify it’s customers it posted a sign in it’s lobby.

“Please note that we’ve recently installed new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving the comfort of their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to…

Betting on Mary Lou

dave — Sat, 17 May 2008 07:41:24 +0000

A man was quietly reading his paper in the family room when his wife sneaks up behind him and whacks him on the head with a frying pan.

“What was that for?” he says. “That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name ‘Mary Lou’ written on it”, she replies.

“Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Mary Lou was the name of one of the horses I bet on”,…

The Rules, For Men

jshare — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 17:00:29 +0000

We always hear “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the Rules from the male side.

Please note… these are all numbered “1″ ON PURPOSE!

These are our rules:

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Saturday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of…

Biker Wish

jshare — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 11:00:15 +0000

A man riding his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, “Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.”

The biker pulled over and said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.”

The Lord said, “Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for…

Fast Thinking Old Man

dave — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 10:32:04 +0000

An old man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years, with a large pond in the back. It was a good size and shape for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with a picnic table, horseshoe courts, some apple and peach trees, BBQ pit, etc.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and looked around. He grabbed a five…