A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand, a grandmotherly looking lady. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Johnson, do you know me?”

She responded, “Yes, I do know you Mr. Atkins. I’ve known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. And now you think you’re a rising big shot attorney when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.”

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs. Johnson, do you know the defense attorney?”

She again replied, “Why, yes of course I do. I’ve known Mr. Smith since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He’s lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can’t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him.”

At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, “If EITHER of you asks her if she knows me, you’ll be heading for the state pen faster than you can blink an eye.”

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~author unknown modifications by AGuy