Position Available Immediately: Apprentice Sith Lord, Dark Side Consulting Group.
Location: In A Galaxy Far, Far Away

An unexpected position has opened up in the Dark Side Consulting Group for an Apprentice Sith Lord. The ideal candidate for this position would be available for frequent galactic travel and possess a strong understanding of, and competence with the Force, or demonstrate a willingness to learn.

Duties include, but not limited to:
- Performing competitive intelligence
- Hands-on intervention in support of the Sith Master’s planning initiatives
- ability to travel the galaxy widely
- Ase of a variety of laser-powered hand weapons
- Operating high-powered space/air vehicles (license, galactic class B required)
- Some slaying of enemies of the Dark Side is also required (using the Force or hand weapons)
- Should also be familiar with holographic projection equipment

Qualified applicants would possess strong communications skills (especially when speaking in menacing whispers), and would be action-oriented individuals and risk takers. A background in study of the Force (light side or dark) is desirable, as would typically be acquired by those with advanced degrees or significant course work in Jedi Arts from the University of Coruscant. Must show a willingness to give in to their hate.

A proven track record of using fear and/or Jedi mind tricks to control others is also desirable, as is the ability to speak several galactic languages. Ideal candidates for this position would also have no children or other living relatives who are strong in the ways of the Force. (A new hire would be given several weeks to meet this requirement.)

Compensation for this position is commensurate with experience, and is extremely competitive for this field. Benefits include a generous severance package, a company starship, a dark-colored clothing allowance and a back up light saber (for personal and professional use). The Apprentice Sith Lord reports to and works closely with the Sith Master, and experience in such small, team-based organizations is vital to the success of the master’s plans. Discretion is also highly valued, as is the ability to see the future before it happens.

Applications will be accepted until the end of November. Transmit them to jobs@darkside.com.

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Dark Side CG ™ is a small and highly-focused organization, founded a long time ago in a galaxy far away. Our core values reflect the short-term advantages of harnessing hatred for institutional power and the long-term desirability of controlling the galaxy. We provide direction to our partner organizations through knowledge, management, incident control and our rapid on-site intervention expertise. Our partnered organizations include the Imperial Senate, the Hutt Gambling Collective of Tattooine, and many large software companies. Dark Side CG(tm) is based in Redmond, WA.

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~author unknown, *modified heavily based on real recruitment experience, yes, companies can be that shady.