Two groups chartered a double-decker bus to visit the casinos in Atlantic City, one group was all blonds and the other was a group from the retirement home. The retirement home group rides on the bottom of the bus. The blond group rides on the top level.

Soon their journey begins and bottom group is whooping it up having a great time, when one of them realizes he doesn’t hear anything from the blonds upstairs.

Being a fine gentleman, he decides to get up and investigate. When he reaches the top, he finds all the blonds frozen in fear, staring straight-ahead at the road, and clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles. He says, “What the heck’s going on up here?” We’re having a great time downstairs!” One of the Blonds looks up and says, “YEAH, BUT YOU’VE GOT A DRIVER!!”

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~author unknown

A blond was in Vegas vacationing with friends. She was standing in front of the candy machine and put two coins in, turned the knob and a candy bar fell out.

She picked up the candy bar and put it in her pocket, then she proceeded to put two more coins into the slot and turned the knob, again a candy bar fell out and she put it in her pocket.

She put two more coins into the machine and again turned the knob producing yet another candy bar. She continued to do this another five times.

A man was watching from a short distance away and walked up to her, he said “Excuse me Miss? What are you doing?”

She said, “Duh!! Can’t you see that I’m winning here!”

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~ author unknown

As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, & knocks on the door.

The trucker lowers the window, and she says ‘Hi, my name is Heather and you’re losing some of your load.’

The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. Read more »

A blond goes into a restaurant and notices there’s a “peel and win!” sticker on her coffee cup. So she’s peels it off and starts screaming, “I’ve won a motor home! I’ve won a motor home!” The waitress says, “That’s impossible, I’m sorry but the biggest prize is a free lunch.”

But the blond keeps screaming, “I’ve won a motor home! I’ve won a motor home!” Read more »

Back in the old Wild West, there were two blond cowpokes, Jeff and Steve. One day, the two were enjoying a strong drink in the local saloon, when a man walked into the bar with an Indian’s head under his arm.

The barman shakes his hand and says, “I hate Indians, last week they burnt my barn to the ground, assaulted my wife and killed my children.” Read more »

A lawyer and a blond woman are sitting next to each other on a long flight from L.A. to New York. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blond is tired and just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains how the game works, “I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me, and visa-versa.”

Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep. The chauvinistic lawyer figures he will easily win the match since his opponent is a blond, so he makes another offer, “Okay, how about this. If you don’t know the answer you pay me only $5, but if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $50.”

This catches the blond’s attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, she agrees to play the game. The lawyer asks the first question. “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?”

The blonde doesn’t say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer. Now it’s the blond’s turn. She asks the lawyer, “What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?”

The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the airphone with his modem and searches the internet, from wikipedia to the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to everyone he knows, with no success. After over an hour of searching for the answer, he finally gives up. He wakes the blond and hands her $50. The blonde politely takes the $50 and turns away to get back to sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little frustrated, wakes the blond again and asks, “Well, so what IS the answer?”

Again without a word, the blond reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.

~ author unknown some changes made by the Aguy team

A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, “Hey, you wanna hear a blond joke?”

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair given that you are blind — that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blond girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blond girl.
3. I’m a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. blond woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blond and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?”

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, “No, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”

~author unknown

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, “Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get it started.”

Her boyfriend asks, “What’s it supposed to be when it’s finished?” The blonde says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a tiger.” Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. Read more »