INTRODUCING the greatest and most powerful new chip out of INTEL’s(TM) Microprocessor Labs: The Potato(TM) Chip.

Finally, with much fanfare, the newest upgrade to the best selling Pentium(TM) processor is released. The Potato(TM) Chip uses the latest in biochemical and electronic engineering. This newly developed organic microprocessor outshines the previous generation.

The Potato(TM) Chip has 100% more speed, 100% more memory, 1/10th the heat generation and 100000% more starch than the traditional 200Mhz PentiumPro(TM) Chip. Read more »

Our program,
Who art in memory,
“Hello” be thy name.
Thy spreadsheets be formatted,
thy code be downloaded, Read more »

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, “What’s with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!” Read more »

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.

The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. Read more »

An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one year.” The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, Read more »

There was an old Indian belief that by making love on the hide of their favorite animal, one could guarantee the health and prosperity of the offspring conceived thereupon. And so it goes that one Indian couple made love on a buffalo hide. Nine months later, they were blessed with a healthy baby son. Read more »

A doctor, a lawyer,and an engineer are sentenced to death. Why is not important to the story…what’s important is that the death sentence will be carried out in France – via guillotine.

The doctor is first. The executioner straps him down, hoists the glittering blade aloft, and lets it drop…whereupon it sticks about halfway down. Read more »

So a software engineer, a hardware engineer and their manager are in the car going to an expo in their rental car. To get there they must navigate a treacherous mountain road. While they are coming down a steep and narrow incline the car’s brakes go out. The car starts going way too fast and they all fear this will be the end of their lives. Read more »

yeah, you heard that… but it’s brilliant quote, so thus obliged to post it:

“Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OS’s is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders.”

one of the better programming quotes I’ve come across, check out it and the rest here (at the time of posting the site was down for a few days, not sure it’s coming back). nice collection nonetheless!