What expect you from someone 900 years old? English perfect???

Size matters not… hey, what are you laughing at?

900 years for Viagra I wait.

I cannot teach him. IQ of 30 has he. Hangs upside down in ice caves.

Duct Tape, the Force it is like. Both a light side and a dark side it has. Binds the universe together it does!

The things Obi-Wan taught you? Forget it, you must.

Yeah, well oneness with the universe doesn’t put food on the plate, junior.

No…there is another. Let’s hope as stupid, she is not.

I cannot teach him. Land an X-wing, he cannot.

Yeah yeah. Force this!

Anger, fear, merchandising… the Dark Side are they!

I didn’t want this job! I wanted Marlon Brando’s role in ‘Apocalypse Now!’

So a snow creature’s bitch you were?

Oh, yes, well if you’re going could you take this robe to the cleaners for me? I’ve been wearing it for over 800 years on this stinkhole and it doesn’t… Oh, judge me on my smell, will you?

Well it may be spooky, but it saves cost on burial plots and it beats cremation.

~ author unknown, improved a little by us at aguywalkedintoabar.com, some bits were lame.

got additions or improvements?